Monday, May 23, 2011

Not Quite the Jackpot

Whenever Susan and I attend Nanaimo Clippers or Nanaimo Timbermen (Snr. A) games, we like to do our little bit to financially support our local teams beyond paying to get in. We usually do this by purchasing 50/50 tickets, where 50% of the cost goes to the club and the other half to the prize pot. It's possible to win a few hundred bucks in this way, so it's worth a pop. 

Last night we went to the Timbermen's opening home game of the season, versus the fearsome New Westminster Salmonbellies. It was a great game, ending in a 14-14 tie after overtime. As usual there were plenty of distractions in the form of prize draws and whatnot, both during play (which deeply irritates me) and in the two intervals. One promotion was the Domino's Cheesy Bread Toss, whereby boxes of hot cheesy bread from the local Domino's Pizza parlour were thrown into the crowd for no apparent reason other than to make them fat. It's reported that each slice of this stuff weighs in at 120 calories and a total of six grams of fat, so I'm amused at the paradox of this occurring at a sporting event featuring such incredibly fit athletes as professional lacrosse players.

But I digress. Despite the bucks we've thrown at 50/50 tickets at the games we've been to, Susan and I have never won a bean. Until last night! On the way in we'd bought a programme, each one of which bears a unique number on the cover. Ours was 110. When the lucky programme numbers were read out, we had won a prize, but the PA in Frank Crane Arena is so muffled that we didn't catch what it was.

Susan excitedly scurried off to the lobby to claim our booty, returning a few minutes later with a less than thrilled expression. We had won the awesome third prize of a $10 off voucher for Dog 'n' Suds U-Wash & Professional Pet Grooming, an establishment bang opposite Susan's workplace.

Fantastic, then, except for the fact that we do not own a dog. But a closer look reveals that the discount voucher could save against a "Self-serve Cat Wash" - and we do own a cat! Wait a minute, though...who reading has ever tried to wash a cat? I have. Once. A very long time ago. And not since. If you, too, have attempted this, how many stitches did it take to put your face back together? And how long did it take the surgeons to reattach your arms?

So, no, we will not be using this fabulous prize to take our cat for a wash, even if I would save ten dollars in the process. If I tried, he would rip out my heart, which isn't really how I'd wish to celebrate the first time we've won something. So then, essentially, unless we can offload it, all we have actually won is a useless, coloured piece of cardboard with some words on it. In this respect it's very nice, but as much use to us as a chocolate teapot.

Does anyone want it? Ten bucks and it's yours.    

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