Saturday, December 12, 2015

Old Man, Take a Look at Your Life...

Today I hit 55 years old.  No big deal in the grand scheme, and I certainly feel far younger than that in my head, but it is apparently an age that comes with hitherto inaccessible privileges in recognition of my advancing years.  For a start off I can now get into Nanaimo Clippers games at a discounted price.  Considering that despite my best intentions for the last several years to attend 5-10 games per season I have managed only one or two - and, ridiculously, none at all so far this season - it is hardly a perk that will alter the course of my life.

Also, at least as far as I am told, the International House of Pancakes will now afford me discount on this or that, but not to my knowledge ever having been in an IHOP, and because there is not one anywhere near where I live, that is of absolutely no use whatsoever.  And there are various hotel chains that now offer me a 'senior's' discount, which is a lot more like it.  With the Best Western Group amongst them, it could come in useful on trips to Vancouver and as yet unknown destinations around the world in the future.

So, thanks to those kind souls that are happy to now give me money off stuff, but I'd rather the general situation in this regard was somewhat more giving.  You know, like 90% discount on all booze purchased at any booze-a-torium anywhere on earth, or a similar rate off food bought in any grocery store and/or restaurant.  And, dear bank, how about acknowledging my newfound status by increasing interest on savings to 50%.  That's not too much to ask, is it?  And what about you guys, Revenue Canada?  How about decreasing my income tax rate to 2%, and while we're at it, all you utilities companies can doff your cap in my newly acquired ancient standing direction by shaving a whole heap off my bills.

And then he woke up.  Oh well, I can but dream, but if the best it gets is two bucks off a Clippers ticket and 10% off a pancake, I'll take it.  Otherwise, frankly, 55 is a sucky age.