Saturday, December 29, 2012

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream...

...or have a horrible nightmare!

I woke myself and Susan up at some ungodly hour before dawn today by yelling out, "Fuck off, you nosy bastards!" Moments before, while deep in some R.E.M. state, three of the Sandman's creepy friends had been staring at me through a slot in the bedroom wall. Two of them were wearing 1970s sunglasses, all three had moustaches, and one was holding a poker.

"Uh, wha...uh?" Susan spluttered as she stirred, so I explained the predicament I'd been in. "Oh," she responded. "I was busy stripping the meat off some computers."

Then, without another word, we put our heads down and again went off to visit the Land of Nod.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The Christmas Card

                                                   HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!

Unrelated PS: It would appear that the uploader of the video I embedded into the Imbeciles blog post has removed it. Not that it matters, all it showed was a parade of buffoons pouring milk over themselves in public places. Yeah, truly hilarious. Enjoy the above video instead, which actually is hilarious. 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

One Two-One Two-One Two

12:12:12: my birthday. Happy Birthday to me. I was awoken by Reggie licking my beard and had Multigrain Cheerios for breakfast. It appears to have stopped raining. It's extremely quiet out there. Is nobody out of bed yet? This is the day after Ravi Shankar died and Rush were finally inducted into the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. About time. Donna Summer and a bunch of others were as well, but I think it was a sympathy vote as far as Donna's concerned. She'd have been nothing without Giorgio Moroder. This is also the day after North Korea launched another rocket, the Axis of Evil power setting the world on edge once more. It's quite chilly this morning. I cannot go one single day without reading the word 'Facebook' somewhere (most usually everywhere), and there it is again on the BBC website: 'Police in Global Facebook Arrests.' I didn't bother reading the story. I just hate F***book. There's another story on the site about the Pope starting to Tweet (as @pontifex). Lord, give me strength. I seem to have the makings of a cold. My nose continues to tingle, but the doc doesn't know what it is. I have to work with Neil today. Always a thrill, you know? There is not a single Happy Birthday message from England (or anywhere else) in my inbox. Bad mood already. I never forget people's birthdays. Ever. Do people not use calendars anymore, or put stuff like that in their 'devices'? Ugh...devices. I hate them. Technology news on 12-12-12: 'Phone has second e-paper screen.' What does that even mean? Ugh. I hate technology. I'll check my music blogs after I've done this; it's what I do every morning, so why change my habits because the date is weird? Susan invented a new composite word recently: 'glumpy.' That's how I feel today. Thus far, having been up 20 minutes, it seems she too has forgotten my birthday. Reggie's spreading his breakfast all over the kitchen as usual. If I hear the words 'Twitter,' 'tweet' or 'retweet' even once today, I think I might scream. Or worse. Until I get out there I have no idea what's happening locally, as the Nanaimo Daily News website seems to be updated when someone feels like it, rather than when news actually happens. Oh, the ways of island life. It is the 88th day of the NHL lockout and, like millions of hockey fans, I am both angry and not caring if I ever see a game again. The warring sides meet again today. On my birthday. Do the few followers of this blog actually read this crap? Probably not. Happy Birthday, Captain Curmudgeon.