Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Cost of Pomp

While not in the least bit surprised to hear him pipe up about it, I was amused to read Morrissey's comments about the inescapable impending nuptials of Prince William and (the admittedly rather foxy) Kate Middleton this morning. "Why would I watch the wedding? Why would I watch it?" he foams in exasperation. 

You know, that could have been me talking. In fact, I can almost hear myself say it in my unmistakable Brummie-cum-Brightonian-cum-Nanaimoite twang-drawl-slur. Like The Moz, I am one of those who couldn't care less about this event. I am not and have never been a royalist, and would genuinely rather tune into a programme showing nothing but a cow's head chewing cud against a grey background for six hours than watch this wedding. 

Without getting too deeply into it, especially my thoughts on monarchies in general (my Canadian citizenship application is still in motion, so I must be a good boy), I get rather concerned that people can happily lap up this event, clapping at the telly, whilst not for one moment considering such as the fact that the London security operation alone will cost British taxpayers in the region of twenty-two million quid ($33,000,000 CAD). If you bung in the cost of Ms. Middleton's dress, their honeymoon in Clacton-on-Sea and the vol-au-vents at the do afterwards, you'd be approaching a sum near the combined Third World debt. Not to put too fine a point on it, that is an absolute disgrace. Just think about the thousands of positive ways in which that sum could have been spent. Like on me, for instance.

I can't help but wonder what the couple themselves think about this? As presumably 'funky,' forward- and right-thinking, young 21st century citizens, surely this knowledge would considerably take the shine off their occasion? And it's not like they absolutely must get married in such an over-the-top manner, is it? Or must they? I blame his granny, myself.

My thoughts and what I vainly hope would be Will and Kate's are delightfully summed up by this hilarious claymation video from Joel Veitch of the completely mental, ridiculously funny website:

Anyway, aside from everything, on the most basic human level I wish the youngsters a good life together. As someone from a family riven by domestic violence, acrimonious divorce and bitter feuds, yet who has found utter joy in his own marriage (which, including Susan's dress, my suit, the rings and everything else, cost about two-hundred quid) I wish them well...even if their happy day only serves to bankrupt the country.

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